All of us want a marriage that is built to stand the test of time. However, we’re rarely prepared for the unexpected issues that naturally occur over the course of a marriage. The vows that you took on your wedding day are sacred and play an important role in your commitment to your marriage, but there are additional vows that you can make today that, if kept, can improve your marriage and help you withstand the storms that are sure to come.
Take a moment and think back to your wedding day. Whether you’ve been married for 50 years or 5 months, really spend some time reflecting on the way that you felt on that day. The love that you had for your spouse was the most important thing in the world. When it came time for you to recite your vows, whether you repeated the minister or wrote your own, there wasn’t a doubt in your mind that you were going to live up to each and every one of them.
As the years go by, those vows often get forgotten. It doesn’t always result in a malicious, extramarital affair, but vows get forgotten. Perhaps you promised to always care for your spouse, but now you find yourself so busy with your own responsibilities that you may not be as caring as you were on day one.
Let today be a day that you not only revisit those vows, but also, use it as an opportunity to make some new ones. The vows you make today, if they truly come from your heart, are just as sacred as those that you made on your wedding day. Make these commitments to your spouse and watch as God takes your marriage to the next level.
A Commitment to Spend Time Together
Matthew 18:19-20 (TPT)
“Again, I give you an eternal truth: If two of you agree to ask God for something in a symphony of prayer, my heavenly Father will do it for you. For wherever two or three come together in honor of my name, I am right there with them!”
There’s an old saying that teaches us that there’s strength in numbers. As humans, we have an innate need to be connected to other humans. When God first created Adam and put him in the Garden of Eden, God immediately noticed that it wasn’t good for Adam to be there on his own (Genesis 2:18). Immediately, God knew that Adam needed a partner.
Earlier, you were asked to think back to your wedding day. Now, take a minute and think back to before you were married. When your spouse was your boyfriend or girlfriend, wasn’t spending time with them one of your favorite things to do? Most of us neglected homework and other responsibilities just to get a few extra minutes with this special person in our lives.
Unfortunately, after we get married, we often start treating time together as either an option or an obligation. Yes, once you’re married and have bills to pay, life is a bit more stressful. You and your spouse have to deal with obligations that you didn’t worry so much about when you were dating. Mortgages, student loan debt, utility bills, and children can all lead to a life that seems like you’re struggling just to do everything that you have to do.
However, it’s still important that you commit to spending some quality time together with your spouse. Depending on work schedules, this doesn’t have to be a nightly romantic dinner over candlelight. Instead, it can be 30 minutes on the couch at the end of the day where you just talk about what you dealt with in the last 24 hours. Something as seemingly minor as a weekly date night can be the difference in the success and failure of your marriage.
God promised His presence when two or three of His people came together in unity. That means that you and your spouse are enough to be a catalyst for God’s presence in your home. Spend time together!
A Commitment to Fighting Fair
Proverbs 18:2 (ESV)
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.
Try as you may, there’s no way for you and your spouse to get through your entire marriage without having an argument. Arguments don’t always have to be about something major. In fact, most arguments go back to something minor or a misunderstanding. Fights are unavoidable, but you can make a commitment today that you are going to fight fair.
Natural human instinct is to make sure that our opinion is heard during an argument. You know what you think, and you believe that it’s important that the person you’re arguing with, in this case your spouse, hears you and ultimately agrees with you. In our attempt to be heard, we often take cheap shots against our spouse in the middle of a fight.
Phrases like “you always” and “you never” are never the right options when you’re arguing. First of all, they’re hyperbolic in nature. No one always or never responds a certain way. We’re humans, and while some reactions are more common than others, no one responds the same way 100% of the time. Additionally, they shift the focus of the discussion from what you believe to be true to how you expect your spouse to respond.
Make a commitment today that your arguments are going to include your own attempt at listening to your partner. Remember, a fool is only interested in sharing his opinion. These moments of disagreement can be an important part of learning more about your spouse and developing your marriage.
A Commitment to Reading God’s Word Together
Psalm 119:97-102 (TPT)
Oh how I love your law! It is my meditation all the day. Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies, for it is ever with me. I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the aged, for I keep your precepts. I hold back my feet from every evil way, in order to keep your word. I do not turn aside from your rules, for you have taught me.
Finally, make a commitment to spending time every day reading your Bible together. Ideally, this would include sitting down with your spouse, reading a selected passage of Scripture, and then discussing it. However, if you and your spouse work opposing work schedules, this can be a bit difficult. Fortunately, through the wonders of modern technology, you can still make this happen.
You can find a Bible reading plan online or within your favorite Bible app. If that’s not the kind of thing you’re looking for, create your own Bible reading plan with your spouse. Even if you can’t make the logistics of sitting down with your partner to read the Bible, both of you can commit to reading the same Scriptures every day. Then, whenever it’s possible, you can sit down and discuss the things that you’ve read.
God’s Word not only makes it wise, but according to this Psalm, it also helps ensure that we don’t find ourselves stepping into sin. The best way to keep your marriage on the right path is to make sure that both you and your spouse are familiar with God’s Word. The best way to get familiar with it is to spend time together reading and studying it.
A Closing Prayer:
God, I want to do everything within my power to make sure that my marriage is built to last. I know the divorce statistics, and I know that many marriages fail. However, I believe that if we make You the center of this marriage, we will last. Help me to be a better spouse. Help me to love my partner the way that You love me. Remind me of your never-ending grace and help me to display it to my partner. I know that You have a plan for us. In Christ’s name I ask these things, Amen.