Regret is a heavy weight. Unfortunately, many of us are trying to walk out our spiritual journey while we bear the weights of shame, regret, and self-condemnation on our shoulders. Can you imagine what you would look like if you tried to run a race with heavy weights tied around your shoulders? While some people may train for races by wearing light weights on their legs to build strength, the idea of tying large weights to your back while trying to run a race would be counterproductive. Unfortunately, that’s the way that many of us seem to go through life.
God never meant for us to carry the heavy weights of shame, condemnation, and regret. That’s why the anonymous author of Hebrews encouraged us to take off the weights that are holding us back.
Hebrews 12:1 (NLT)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.
Take a look at the wording in that passage. Every weight that slows us down is not a sin. That’s why the author put the word “especially” in the passage. Sin is a weight, but it’s not the only kind of weight that we struggle with. It could easily be argued that one of the most commonly experienced, stifling weights that we try to carry with us is the shame associated with our pasts.
One of the biggest reasons that the weight of shame is so cumbersome is that we were never designed to carry it. God does not want you to try to navigate your way through life while stumbling under the weight of everything that you have ever done wrong.
Today, discover how to silence the voice of shame so you can effectively break free from the prison of your past. These principles will not only help you overcome the shame that leaves you feeling confused, angry, and anxious, but they will also help you better run the race that is set before you in the company of the great cloud of witnesses that surrounds us.
You Are More
Psalm 139:13-14 (NLT)
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it.
One of the most powerful lies that the voice of shame tries to tell us is that our worth is directly tied to our worst moments. When we associate our self-worth with self-condemnation, we’re always going to view ourselves negatively. This premise isn’t new. In fact, Adam and Eve struggled with it at the dawn of creation.
Before the first sin, Adam and Eve had everything that they needed in the Garden of Eden. One of the things they didn’t need was clothing. They lived naked, and they didn’t realize that it was anything out of the ordinary. After all, they were the ordinary. However, the Bible teaches us that after they sinned, their eyes were opened, and they realized that they were naked. When they had that realization, they became ashamed. They were ashamed of their sin, and they were ashamed of their nakedness.
God came to walk with Adam and Eve every day in Eden. They were worth so much that He wanted to spend time with them every day. However, when their eyes were opened, they hid themselves when they heard God coming. Suddenly, they didn’t believe that they were worth God’s time.
God cleared up the misconception. Yes, He handed out consequences for their sins, but He still made sure that they were cared for. Adam and Eve’s worst moment was not meant to define them, and yours isn’t either. God doesn’t view your value as a result of your worst moment. Instead, He values you based solely on His love for you, just like He did for them.
Unconditional Love
John 3:16-17 (NLT)
“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.”
One of the most dangerous aspects of shame is that it makes us question how much God loves us. This is largely because we view love through the human lens, and in most cases, our love is conditional. Sure, we may say that our love is unconditional, but that’s simply not always the case. For instance, researchers indicate that approximately 41% of marriages end in divorce. The people who stand in front of their family and friends, vowing to love one another forever, later make the decision to end their marriage for any number of reasons. We struggle with the idea of unconditional love. God doesn’t.
According to this passage, Christ’s arrival in the world was the ultimate display of God’s perfect love for His people. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make God love you any more than He does in this moment. Moreover, there is nothing you can do to make God love you any less! His love is unconditional.
When the voice of shame tries to tell you that God doesn’t love you because of your mistakes, declare the promises of this passage over your life.
Silencing Your Own Self-Talk
Galatians 2:20 (NLT)
My old self has bene crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
We often talk about the importance of the words that we use when talking to (or about) other people. However, it’s equally important that you understand the importance of the words that you use within your world of self-talk.
The voice of shame wants to convince you that you are doomed to spend your entire existence being defined by the worst moments of your life. Instead of viewing the highlights of your life, the voice of shame wants you to focus on your blooper reel, and most of us have a pretty lengthy blooper reel. However, the voice of shame can only do so much. Once that voice shifts our focus onto the worst moments of our lives, we generally spend most of our self-talk time focusing on those lowlights instead of our highlights.
One of the most important aspects of silencing the voice of shame is to stop spending all your time talking about the things that shame wants you to talk about. Statements like, “I’ll never be able to live that down,” or “I guess that’s just what I’m doomed to be,” have a natural, negative impact on our lives. Stop making Satan’s job easier by demeaning yourself through negative self-talk.
A Closing Prayer:
Heavenly Father, help me to silence the voice of shame in my life. I know that You don’t view me through the lens of everything I’ve done wrong, and I don’t want to view myself that way either. Help me to rest in the promise of Your forgiveness. Help me to stand on the foundation of Your love. Most of all, help me to stop using negative language when talking about myself. I know that You love me unconditionally, and that is all I need. In Christ’s name I ask these things, Amen.