We can all paraphrase typical marriage vows. We make a promise to love each other in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, for the rest of our lives. Despite this covenant, many marriages fail! To have a relationship that stands the test of time, it is necessary to love like Jesus loves us. The Bible calls Jesus the bridegroom at quite a few places in the Bible (John 3:29, for example).
We are the bride. Jesus’ example of love for us is the most beautiful love story ever written! Throughout the gospels, Jesus teaches his people, prayers with them and for them, forgives them, cares for them, and spends time with them. He left heaven to seek unity with his followers, which is a beautiful concept when you consider how far we fall short of His holiness.
Lessons from Jesus’ Example – Loving Like You Mean it
If Jesus is the bridegroom, then His examples in the Bible show us what we should be trying to do in our own relationships.
- Forgive – Jesus didn’t wait for us to be perfect before He came to dwell with us and even die on the cross for us. He forgives! A lonely life awaits one who scrolls through dating apps waiting for the perfect match. No one is perfect. Everyone needs forgiveness.
- Place your trust in Jesus – If you make your significant other your whole world, you will quickly lose joy in the relationship. While your partner is important, keep Jesus as your number one source of hope and trust. He will never disappoint. Humans are imperfect beings. Your partner will annoy you and upset you. It’s just a fact of life. Also true, you will annoy and upset your partner! Giving and receiving acceptance and forgiveness makes God’s grace even more amazing and provides opportunities to be more like Him. Ask Him to help you forgive.
- Strive to be a better you – Sometimes long periods of singleness are for the purpose of molding you into the type of person your future partner deserves. That doesn’t mean, however, that once you find a partner you are fully matured. Remember those annoying habits your partner has that you are going to ask God to help you forgive? Well, you have those, too. When you truly love someone, you want to be better for them. Ask God to show you ways in which you can be a better partner. Perhaps you will realize that you could pull more weight around the house or announce fewer criticisms. Ask your partner and ask God. He will illuminate areas that could use some refining.
- Glorify God – God wants you to be happy, but He also wants you to draw close to Him and shine your light for others. Marriage is a perfect way to show God’s love to the world. If you base your marriage off Jesus’ example, you will be a reflection of God’s great love for all you meet – especially your children who desperately need Godly examples!
Reality Check
Anyone who is married will probably admit that it takes work. There will be times when you don’t actually feel like putting an effort into the relationship and fantasize about leaving and starting over instead. Why is God’s plan so difficult? Well, why were any other blessings difficult for characters in the Bible?
Consider the Israelites, for example. They faced years of slavery only to be “freed” by 40 years in the desert! Many hardships during their exodus, though, molded them into obedient and faithful believers who were able to trust God fully. Remember, God calls us to “Rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us” (Romans 5:4-5, New International Version).
Do you really think that the God who created the universe is not capable of fixing a marriage? He can take the struggles the two of you face and use them to create something beautiful. Choosing to love even when you don’t feel like it pleases God, and He will certainly repay you for your dedication to His plan with some amazing outcomes.
It will also fill your partner’s heart because it shows meaningful love – not conditional love. (If he/she would XYZ, then I would be more loving toward him/her.)
We Were Designed for Companionship
Whether or not marriage is in your future, companionship certainly is a definite. We have all been hurt. Don’t let that keep you from God’s design of loving relationships. It is no coincidence that once He had provided sustenance for man, the very next thing God did was create woman to be his partner for “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).
God’s design for Adam was not complete until he had a partner. Don’t hold back. Love! Love your partner if you have one. If not, build your stamina for loving like you mean it through your family ties, friendships, co-workers, and acquaintances. You will be pleasantly surprised at what that can add to your life.
Prayer:
Loving God,
Thank you for loving me with a perfect love. No matter what life throws my way, I feel your loving presence. I want to be that same loving shelter for those in my life. Teach me how to love like You. Open my eyes to parts of me that could improve so I am a better partner. I know that You are enough, but am thankful that you did bless us with love and companionship anyway. May my relationships glorify and please You.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.