As we draw closer to the celebration of Christ’s resurrection, we get the opportunity to more deeply evaluate everything that this season truly means for us as believers. As humans, we have a natural inclination to worry about things out of our control. In the current climate we live in, there is plenty to be afraid of. We find ourselves in the middle of a worldwide global pandemic that has brought death around the globe. The economy seems as uncertain as ever, and it’s hard to turn on the news without seeing violence, hatred and unrest. The sad reality about the times that we live in is that it’s fear inducing.
Even if you aren’t personally dealing with the chaos that the world has been thrown into, you may be dealing with uncertainty in your personal life. Relationships with friends and family members may have taken a turn for the worse. Maybe you’re facing your own health problems. Whatever is going on in your personal life can bring about feelings of doubt and fear.
Thankfully, our fear and doubt doesn’t leave God feeling rattled. He is more than capable of handling our feelings of uncertainty. Furthermore, the power of Christ’s resurrection allows us to tackle those feelings of doubt and fear head on. Knowing that God has empowered us to handle doubt and fear doesn’t mean that those feelings won’t come. It simply means that we can view the things that rob of us our peace and joy as temporary.
Thomas
While we don’t know a ton about several of the disciples, it’s somewhat sad that one of the few things we know about Thomas is that he doubted Christ’s resurrection. It’s easy for us to sit back thousands of years later and point a holy finger at Thomas and criticize him for his unbelief. However, it’s only easy for us because we know how the story ended. Take a moment and try to put yourself in Thomas’ shoes.
Imagine you had sat with Jesus at the Last Supper. He had given you bread and wine and talked in cryptic detail about his impending death. Imagine you had sat there when he foretold the betrayal of one of the disciples. Envision what it looked like when Jesus had washed the feet of you and the other disciples before taking all of you to Gethsemane. While Peter, James and John went into the garden with him to pray, you and the other seven disciples are left waiting, wondering about the events that are about to unfold.
Thomas isn’t mentioned again until after Jesus has raised from the dead, even though the events of the next few chapters are incredibly eventful. Judas betrays Jesus with a kiss, Peter cuts off the ear of an armed soldier and Jesus is led away to go through a sham of a trial before receiving a death sentence. Through all of these events, Thomas isn’t mentioned. We are left to assume that he was somewhere hiding with the other disciples, wondering if their lives would be taken next. Once you begin to put yourself in Thomas’ shoes, it’s easy to understand why he had his doubts.
John was the only disciple to stay with Jesus through the entirety of His trial and crucifixion. Undoubtedly, he was the one who brought word back to the rest of the disciples that Jesus was dead and had been buried. Thomas’ doubt is understandable. He had given up his normal life to follow this preaching carpenter, stood beside Him while He performed miracles and was even willing to die with Jesus when everyone assumed He would be killed in Bethany (John 11:16). But now, Jesus had died and everything was in question. Doubt was only natural.
Three days later, Jesus had risen again and had appeared to the disciples, but Thomas wasn’t there (John 20:24). The last time he saw Jesus, he was walking to his own arrest. Thomas naturally had his doubts.
John 20:25 (TPT)
So the disciples informed him, “We have seen the Lord with our own eyes!” Still unconvinced, Thomas replied, “There’s no way I’m going to believe this unless I personally see the wounds of the nails in his hands, touch them with my finger, and put my hand into the wound of his side where he was pierced!”
We incorrectly assume that our doubts repel God. Somewhere along the way, we have believed the lie that our doubts push God away to the point where He is done with us. We use the term “Doubting Thomas” as an insult and believe that a moment of unbelief overrides years of faith. That’s not the way Jesus saw Thomas, and it’s not the way that God sees us.
Eight days later, once Thomas was back with the disciples, Jesus came looking for Thomas.
John 20:27 (TPT)
Then, looking into Thomas’ eyes, he said, “Put your finger here in the wounds of my hands. Here-put your hand into my wounded side and see for yourself. Thomas, don’t’ give in to your doubts any longer, just believe!”
Jesus wasn’t there when Thomas gave his ultimatum, but He still knew what Thomas had said. Jesus didn’t view Thomas’ doubt as defiance. He saw it as the reaction of a friend who was broken and needed reassurance. Thankfully, He sees our doubt the same way.
Peter
Fear makes a person do crazy things. When Jesus told Peter that he would deny him, Peter argued with the Lord (Matthew 26:31-35). But Peter wasn’t accounting for what fear can make a person do. Once Jesus was arrested, it didn’t take long for Peter’s fear to make him do what he once believed was unthinkable. In Matthew 26:69-75, we read about how three different people accused Peter of discipleship. Three people said that they had seen him with Jesus and three times Peter denied it. In fact, Peter was so passionate in his denial, we read that he started using profanity to make his case (Matthew 26:74). Peter’s fear caused him to deny having a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Peter had never had a problem with boldness, but when Jesus was sentenced to death, John was the only disciple who went and stood at the cross. Where was Peter? Somewhere being afraid. Much like we’ve been incorrectly taught about doubt, we often assume that our fear causes God to want to distance Himself from us. We know how often the Bible says to “fear not,” and we assume that the presence of fear automatically equals the absence of faith. However, fear is a human emotion, one that God wired into us at creation. That fear does nothing to repel God. That’s why Jesus left a message for Peter at the tomb after He had raised:
Mark 16:7 (TPT)
Run and tell his disciples, even Peter, that he is risen. He has gone ahead of you into Galilee and you will see him there, just like he told you.
Jesus’ desire to get word to Peter didn’t stop there. In the Gospel of Luke we find two of the disciples on the road to Emmaus. One of them, presumably Peter didn’t even recognize Jesus in His glorified state. But look at what the disciples who had seen him told the others:
Luke 24:34 (TPT)
They overheard them saying, “It’s really true! The Lord has risen from the dead. He even appeared to Peter!”
Twice we find out that Jesus took special care to show Peter that He was alive and that He wanted to make sure that Peter knew about it. Why? Because Peter’s fear did nothing to diminish Christ’s love for him. Peter’s fear didn’t dissuade God from loving him and ours doesn’t either.
The empty tomb of Jesus Christ does a lot to alleviate our doubts and fears. However, it doesn’t fully prevent them. Thankfully, the empty tomb also ensures us that God loves us in the face of those doubts and fears. Jesus could have distanced Himself from the disciple who doubted Him and the one who denied Him out of fear. Instead, He sought those two out specifically. Not to punish them, but to restore them.
A Closing Prayer:
God, we both know that I struggle with fears and doubts. I’m so thankful that those feelings of uncertainty don’t cause You to want to give up on me. Lord, help me to strengthen my faith so those feelings occur less frequently. But when they come, please reveal yourself to me. I know that You don’t give up on me, and I’ll be forever grateful for that. Thank You for loving me despite my fears and doubts. In Christ’s name, Amen!