According to studies, the average adult makes roughly 35,000 decisions every single day. Some of those decisions may be rather insignificant in the grand scheme of life. That number includes things like which shoes you’re going to wear that day, how many shots of espresso you’re going to have put in your Starbucks order and other seemingly minor decisions that you make. However, some of those other decisions can have a far-reaching impact on several areas of your life. Ideally, every decision would be correct, and we would never have to deal with the regrets that stem from poor decision making, but that’s simply not reality.
It would be easy if the voice of the Lord spoke to us every time we had to make any sort of decision. If every major life decision that we made came with a divine revelation where God pointed us to a particular voice of Scripture, we would never get anything wrong, would we? That’s not how things work. Instead, God wants us to make our own decisions and be led by what we know about Him, His will for us and His plan for all of humanity. So, how do we live with less regret?
Don’t Follow Your Heart
Jeremiah 17:9 (ESV)
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?
From the time we’re young, we are told to “follow our hearts.” Somewhere along the way, humanity has decided that our hearts can lead to us to achieve our biggest dreams. If we “follow our hearts,” we can have the spouse that we’ve always dreamt of, the job we’ve always wanted and the family we always pictured ourselves with. But the Bible never tells us to follow our heart. Instead, God told the prophet Jeremiah that the heart was deceitful more than it was anything else.
The things that our hearts naturally want are not the things of God. Make no mistake about it, your heart wants what will satisfy your personal cravings in the moment. That’s why the Bible says that “every person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desires” (James 1:14).
The things that your heart naturally gravitates towards will satisfy the desires of your flesh. That’s how we are wired. That’s why, when we’re babies, we scream, cry and throw tantrums until we get what we want. If we’re hungry, we scream until someone feeds us. If we’re wet, we cry until someone changes us. Our own desires are the most important things, and we cannot do anything to make them a reality on our own, so we scream until someone does it for us. Similarly, as we grow up, our hearts still want whatever satisfies us. We may not cry to get what we want, but we lie to get ahead at work. We may not scream at the top of our lungs, but we will sink ourselves so far into debt that we can’t see our way out in order to impress some people who don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Why? Because we’re “following our heart.”
The first step to living life with less regret is to stop following your heart. Afterall, it’s deceitful above all things. Instead, be guided by integrity (Proverbs 11:3).
Live with an Eye on Your Legacy
Proverbs 13:22 (ESV)
A good man leaves in inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.
“Live your life in a way that the preacher won’t have to lie at your funeral.” It sounds amusing on a bumper sticker, but it’s actually not terrible advice. How do you want to be remembered? The verse that we just read in the book of Proverbs isn’t talking about leaving behind a monetary inheritance. Now, if you have the resources to leave your children and their children a hefty inheritance, that’s certainly a blessing. But the inheritance that Solomon was encouraging people to leave to their children in Proverbs 13:22 was something far more precious than trust funds, investment accounts and other financial assets.
In Paul’s second letter to his protégé, Timothy, he referenced such an inheritance:
2 Timothy 1:5 (TPT)
As I think of your strong faith that was passed down through your family line, it began with your grandmother Lois, who passed it on to your dear mother, Eunice. And it’s clear that you too are following in the footsteps of their godly example.
When you read the Bible, you don’t read a lot about the characters’ mothers. While things have changed culturally, thousands of years ago, people didn’t discuss who someone was based on their mother. That’s why so many of the “begats” at the beginning of Matthew’s Gospel tell how one person was the father of the next. But that wasn’t the case with Timothy. Instead, Paul didn’t mention Timothy’s father and focused on his mother and grandmother. Why?
Most Biblical scholars agree that Timothy’s father wasn’t a believer in Christ. Perhaps that’s why Paul referred to Timothy as his own son (2 Timothy 1:2) and pointed to the faith of Timothy’s mother and grandmother as the source of Timothy’s own faith. Those women lived their lives in a way that would cause Paul to point to them as a Godly example.
A great way to live with fewer regrets is to live your life in a way that people will remember your faith. Let every major decision that you make be made with one eye on your legacy. If you live today how you want to be remembered tomorrow, there will be less room for regret.
Follow the Light
Psalm 119:105-106 (TPT)
Truth’s shining light guides me in my choices and decisions; the revelation of your word makes my pathway clear. To live my life by your righteous rules has been my holy and lifelong commitment.
When we know Scripture, we can live according to Scripture. In these verses, David points to Scripture as a guiding light that helps him walk the right path and make the right decisions. It can do the same thing for us.
While the Bible is certainly one of the greatest pieces of literature that has ever been compiled, it’s also much more than that. The Holy Spirit inspired the authors of the Bible with the exact words that God wanted recorded in His Book. Over the years, God has supernaturally protected the integrity of those words to ensure that we have a perfect, infallible written copy of God’s plan for all of us. Your bible is significantly more than a collection of stories; it is God’s written manual for our lives.
One of the best ways to live a life that’s free of regret is to allow the truths of Scripture to guide you in every decision that you make. The Bible covers everything. Marriage, parenting, being in a position of authority, friendships, work, life, everything! There is not one relationship in your life that you can’t find an example of in Scripture. God’s desire for you is written in Scripture. When you allow those words to be the guiding force in your decisions, you can’t go wrong.
As long as we are living in these temporal bodies, we are going to make decisions that we regret. We may respond harshly to a loved one in a moment of haste, make a decision about a job-change that proves to be incorrect or any other number of decisions. With prayer, study and careful self-inspection, we can reduce the number of bad decisions in our lives and live with less regret. God’s plan for you is perfect. When you commit yourself fully to His plan, you can live a life with less regret.
A Closing Prayer:
God, help me to forgive myself for the things in my past that I regret. I know that You have forgotten them, so I need Your help to do the same. Going forward, help me live a life that is pleasing to You. Instead of following my heart, help me to follow Yours. Remind me daily of the fact that I am leaving a legacy and help me to make decisions that will make that legacy a Godly one. Finally, guide me with the truth of Your Word. In Christ’s name, Amen!