If you take a look at the news or your social media feed, you’ll probably find yourself falling into the trap of hopelessness. In addition to the fact that we’re still trying to navigate our way through a pandemic that has ravaged the world, it seems as though society as a whole is as divided as it’s ever been. On the surface, it seems like there is very little to be hopeful about. However, cynicism is not a fruit of the Spirit.
Take a moment and honestly ask yourself how hopeful you are about the future. Not only your personal future, but also the future of the world you live in. When you turn on the news, read the news online, or even scroll through your social media feed, it’s easy to fall into the trap of hopelessness. If we’re being honest, society as a whole teaches us to take a cynical approach to most of what’s going on around us. However, cynicism is not only not a Godly trait, but it’s also a dangerous mindset to fall into.
But how are we supposed to get past being cynical? Afterall, everything going on around us tells us that society is falling apart. People seem more divided than they’ve ever been, as they continue to hurl hateful insults across political lines, racial divides, and virtually every other type of divide we can think of.
Culture tells us that cynicism is our best defense against being disappointed. Additionally, with everything that seems to be going wrong, why shouldn’t cynicism be our default setting? Because God’s people are not called to be cynical, hopeless people. There’s hope for conquering cynicism, and the answers are found in Scripture.
Examine Yourself Carefully
Romans 12:3 (TPT)
God has given me grace to speak a warning about pride. I would ask each of you to be emptied of self-promotion and not create a false image of your importance. Instead, honestly assess your worth by using your God-given faith as the standard of measurement, and then you will see your true value with an appropriate self-esteem.
One of the best ways to deal with cynicism is to get a better understanding of yourself. Cynicism and pride are closely related emotions. On one hand, cynicism toward others can leave you with an overinflated sense of pride that tells you that you’re better than the disingenuous, wicked people all around you. On the other hand, cynicism often starts from a place of pride. This isn’t something that we like to acknowledge, but it’s easy to fall prey to self-righteousness. When we get so caught up in our own righteousness, we view other people through a lens of superiority. Unfortunately, that’s not a superiority that we’ve earned, as our righteousness is nothing. Instead, we are only made righteous through a relationship with Jesus Christ.
This doesn’t mean that you beat yourself down and become cynical about your own future. Instead, it simply means that you understand that when you take a look at the condition of the world around you, that you don’t elevate yourself above everyone else. You’re only where you are by the grace of God. His forgiveness and love toward you had allowed you to experience the forgiven life that you’re living.
Don’t allow cynicism to give way to pride. If you’re not sure about whether or not you’re a cynical person, ask yourself some hard questions and answer them honestly. When you see the things going on in the world around you, do you believe that there is still hope? Do you look at people who are exhibiting sinful behaviors and acknowledge that God is able to turn their lives around just like He did yours? If the answer to those questions is no, you may be trending toward cynicism.
Cynicism is easier to deal with early than after it has become a natural though pattern in your life. Asking yourself the hard questions now allows you to submit these parts of your life to the Holy Spirit so He can facilitate a change in you.
A Change of Heart
Ezekiel 36:26 (ESV)
And I will give you a near heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
Being cynical is more than a thought pattern. Instead, it’s more of a heart condition. The cynical person says that everything that is already bad is just going to get worse. Cynicism says that the people around you who are making poor decisions are hopeless and heading down a path of destruction. Cynicism, once it creeps into your relationships can wreak havoc in your home. Having marital problems? Cynicism tells you that things are only going to get worse, and you should probably contact a lawyer.
You see, cynicism doesn’t just impact you. While the mental and emotional impacts of cynicism are very real, the fact that it can ruin your relationships and damage the way that you interact with others is even more dangerous.
The only way to deal with this aspect of cynicism is to allow God to change your heart. Cynicism makes us hard. The heart that God was talking to in the Scripture we just read isn’t the organ that pumps blood to the rest of your body. Instead, it’s about the very innermost part of who you are. Cynicism changes that part of you. It leaves you assuming that hope is lost, and everything is crumbling around you. For most of us, the natural reaction to those feelings is to put up walls and look out for ourselves.
Through the power of the Holy Spirit, God can change that hard, stone-like heart and replace it with a soft one. This “heart of flesh” that God told Ezekiel about sees the good in people, even when our natural tendency is to wonder if there’s any good at all.
Opening yourself up to a change of heart is the most effective way to overcome cynicism. When you allow the Holy Spirit to change your heart of stone for a heart of flesh, optimism is the natural result. Afterall, with Him, all things are possible.
Comparison: The Thief of Joy
Romans 14:10-12 (TPT)
Why would you judge your brothers or sisters because of their diet, despising them for what they eat or don’t eat? For we each will have our turn to stand before God’s judgement seat. Just as it is written: “As surely as I am the Living God, I tell you: ‘Every knee will bow before me and every tongue will confess the truth and glorify me!’” Therefore, each one must answer for himself and give a personal account of his own life before God.
As we already discussed, cynicism changes our relationships with others by putting ourselves in a position of superiority. Ultimately, that sort of elevation isn’t your job. At the heart of most cynical mindsets, you’ll find comparison. “I can’t believe he acts like that, I would never!” “Did you see that post about her on social media? I can’t believe the things she’s doing. I would never do something like that!”
Those people who you’re judging aren’t all that different from you. Yes, you may be living a life that is more pleasing in the eyes of God, but God won’t be asking you about those people when you stand before Him in judgment.
Comparing yourself to others can either lead to you feeling superior or inferior to them. Inferiority, which is just as dangerous as superiority can also stem from or produce cynicism. “He only got that promotion because of the way that he manipulates people.” “She only married him for his money. That’s why she has so much!” Statements like that, which are rooted in comparison are never healthy. Additionally, they breed more cynical behaviors.
Stop comparing yourself to others, whether it elevates you or depredates you. You’re not living up to their standard, and ultimately, they’re not living up to yours. Instead, all of us will stand before God one day, and He won’t ask questions about what others did. Instead, your interaction with God on judgement day will simply involve your relationship with Him.
A Closing Prayer:
God, help me to be more focused on the things that I can control. Instead of seeing the negative in everything going on around me, help me to find opportunities to share Your grace, Gospel, and love with everyone that I interact with. I know that You are in control, and I simply want to play my part. In Christ’s name, Amen.