From the time that you were a young child, people probably asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up. Depending on your interests and aptitudes as a child, your answers may have ranged from working as a teacher to flying into space and walking on the moon. Many of us dreamt of being professional athletes and musicians, while others thought it would be wonderful to be doctors, lawyers, firefighters, or police officers. While the specifics may vary from person to person, each of us had a dream. Unfortunately, life often gets in the way of those dreams, leaving us reeling and forced to face a familiar foe: disappointment.
Disappointment can strike at any time. Unfortunately, we don’t often get to see it coming. It’s also not an unfamiliar foe, as most of us have been dealing with it in some capacity for many years. Maybe your battle with disappointment started when you were younger and you didn’t make the team. You had spent most of the year practicing a certain sport, but when the final cuts came through, you hadn’t made the roster. Perhaps you had auditioned for the school play and knew in your heart of hearts that you were going to get the leading role, only to find out that you had been cast as a faceless, voiceless extra. Disappointment typically starts in our youth.
As we get older, disappointment doesn’t go away. Instead, it simply takes on new forms. Rejection letters from the colleges of our dreams, job interviews that result in a negative response, divorce, breakups, and breakdowns all leave us feeling varying levels of disappointment.
Finally, disappointment can strike even when we get what we think we wanted out of a situation. Maybe you got into that dream college, but once you got there, you realized the dream was a nightmare. Maybe you got the job offer that you longed for, but now the job has turned into a source of stress and anxiety that you didn’t plan on.
No matter how hard we may try to make things perfect, there are plenty of times where our reality doesn’t meet our expectations. That disconnect is at the heart of disappointment. When what we’re dealing with doesn’t match up with what we dreamed about, disappointment is the natural byproduct. This byproduct can leave us scared, frustrated, and wondering where God is. Today, learn how to deal with your disappointment so you can embrace the future that God has for you.
Defining Your Disappointment
Genesis 37:36 (NLT)
Meanwhile, the Midianite traders arrived in Egypt, where they sold Joseph to Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, the king of Egypt. Potiphar was captain of the palace guard.
If anyone in the Bible knew a thing or two about disappointment, it was Joseph, Since his story makes up the final 13 chapters of the Book of Genesis, we won’t be taking the whole story in today, but a quick synopsis can help us better understand this young man’s bout with being let down.
Joseph had multiple dreams about becoming a leader. His family didn’t appreciate those dreams, as he was the youngest son, and his brothers were so outraged by them, that they briefly plotted his murder. Instead, they sold him to a group of Midianite traders who then sold him to Potiphar for a profit. Things quickly went bad in Potiphar’s house, and Joseph spent two years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. Eventually, Joseph was released, and his dreams came true. He became one of Pharaoh’s most trusted advisors and was put in charge of the grain in Egypt. When a famine came to his homeland, the same brothers who sold him into slavery had to come to him for food.
Joseph had plenty of opportunities to define his disappointment. Undoubtedly, he was disappointed and scared when his brothers sold him into slavery. He faced terror and disappointment when he was thrown into prison. More disappointment came when one of the friends he had made during incarceration got out but then forgot to put in a good word for him.
One of the best ways to overcome your disappointment is to pinpoint the moment in which it started. It’s easy to look at our circumstances as a whole and feel disappointed by what’s going on. However, when we’re able to better understand when the disappointment started, we can take a healthier approach to overcoming it.
If you’re feeling disappointed today, spend some time evaluating the source of the disappointment. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you recognize any areas in your disappointment that may be setting you up for something better like Joseph.
Accepting Disappointment
Job 13:15 (ESV)
Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face.
Job was also no stranger to disappointment. The man who is widely considered the “face of Biblical patience” went through a time as trying as anyone in Scripture. Once a wealthy man, Job lost everything to robbers and a fire that fell from the skies. Additionally, all 10 of his children were killed when a strong wind caused the house in which they were all having dinner to collapse on them. Yet, in the face of this sort of trial, Job made multiple declarations about his unwavering faith in God.
Disappointment is an inevitable part of life, no matter how much we would like to avoid it. While we may not face the level of letdown that Job endured, we still face varying degrees of disappointment in our own lives.
One of the most problematic aspects of dealing with our disappointments is found in the fact that we simply must accept them. Exhibiting the same type of faith that Job had in the face of complete loss is an important part of the process. Job knew that while everything was falling apart, God was supernaturally holding Him together. We have the promise because we have the same Savior.
How to Process Your Disappointment
Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
In order to process our disappointment, we must analyze it. Fortunately, that’s what we’ve done in the first two steps of today’s study. When you identify the source of your disappointment while also recognizing that it is an unavoidable part of life, you can truly process what’s happening in your life.
Taking a rational, analytical approach to your disappointment may not lessen the sting of the disappointment that you’re currently facing, but it can certainly help you avoid immense pain in future disappointments.
Disappointment is the result of reality not living up to expectations. If we assume that things are always going to meet our expectations, we should plan on being disappointed regularly. The odds of everything matching up to your dreams and goals simply aren’t good. However, when we follow the advice given in this passage, we can rest assured that God is making our paths straight even when it seems like the road is filled with potholes.
Processing your disappointment doesn’t mean that you don’t have goals and dreams. Instead, it means that you are fully relying on God to get you from where you’re at to where you’re going. If disappointment strikes along the way, you can rest in the fact that He is working out something far better than you had ever thought of.
A Closing Prayer:
Heavenly Father, help me to deal with the disappointments in my life. I know there are plenty of times where reality doesn’t meet my expectations, and in those moments, I am prone to question Your goodness. Help me to overcome those tendencies. In Christ’s name, Amen.