Matthew 7:2-5 (NIV)
“For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck in your brother’s eye.”
Have you ever looked at a friend or family member and wondered how they have it “all together?” We often look at people we know who seem to have everything in life going exactly the way that they want it to and assume that we have to be doing something wrong. After all, if we didn’t, wouldn’t our lives be as perfect as theirs? If you could see what goes on behind the scenes, you would realize that those people don’t have perfect lives. They don’t “have it all together,” and they’re dealing with many of the same issues that you are.
Conversely, we often look at others and wonder how they let their lives get into such a dysfunctional condition. We often see others struggling with things that we feel like we’re above, and we wonder how they let themselves fall into such a place.
The passage we just read from the Sermon on the Mount not only teaches us that we shouldn’t take the second approach of self-righteousness, but it also teaches us that the first approach is erroneous. Everyone has something “in their own eye.” While you may not have a beam sticking out of your eye, there’s a little speck in there.
Today, discover how to get the dysfunction out of your own eyes. Whether you feel like you’re dealing with a speck or a beam, the fact remains that we all have some dysfunction in our lives that blurs our vision in the same way that something in your eye would do. When we establish where these different dysfunctions come from, we can better overcome them.
Comparison: The Thief of Joy
2 Corinthians 10:12-13 (NIV)
We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the sphere of service God himself has assigned to us, a sphere that also includes you.
One of the leading causes of dysfunction in your thoughts, behaviors, and relationships involves comparing yourself to others. The verses that we read at the beginning of today’s study are all about comparison, too. Isn’t it remarkable that Jesus discussed the importance of avoiding comparison in a sermon that He preached some 2,000 years ago? Obviously, it’s always been a problem for humanity.
One of the greatest steps that you will take in your quest to overcome dysfunction is to overcome comparison. Stop looking at the lives of other and thinking about how your life differs, whether it’s for better or for worse.
When we look at others and believe that we’re above them, we create dysfunction through ego. When we look at others and believe that we’re beneath them, we create dysfunction through a poor self-image. Your battle with dysfunction does not involve how others live their lives. Stop looking at others and stacking yourself up against them. When you do that, you can overcome a common cause of dysfunction.
Holding Onto Hate
Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV)
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
When we refuse to extend forgiveness, we start building a wall between ourselves and others. While it’s easy to see how this sort of thing creates dysfunction in your relationships, it also begins to impact your thoughts, perceptions, and beliefs. It’s easy to think about the word “hatred” and say that you don’t hate anyone. However, if you’re holding onto bitterness and unforgiveness, you’re harboring hatred, or at least the seeds of hatred, in your heart.
Holding onto hatred in any form is a surefire way to create dysfunction in your own life. Obviously, everyone has been hurt by someone. Everyone has something in their past that would create a space for bitterness.
How much room do you give to those things? It’s often difficult to strike the balance between giving yourself room to address the pain that you’ve suffered while not holding onto it, allowing it to dictate the course of your life. The only way to do so is through the power of the Holy Spirit.
How much more functional would your relationships, thoughts, and behaviors be if you didn’t hold on to any bitterness? Today, ask the Holy Spirit to help you move past the pain so you can deal with the dysfunction.
Cutting Out Criticism
Proverbs 12:18 (NIV)
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Everyone has faced some level of criticism at some point in their lives. Perhaps when you were young you weren’t good enough to make the Little League team. Maybe you were the kid who was always picked last at recess, or perhaps you struggled to connect with people throughout your teen years. Even if you weren’t dealing with people who were verbally and mentally abusive, you’ve likely faced some varying degrees of criticism.
However, when criticism is a constant in anyone’s life, there is no way to avoid dysfunction. How much of your daily communication involves criticism, whether it’s outgoing or incoming?
Do you spend a lot of time criticizing others? Are you verbally harsh toward your friends, spouse, children, or other family members? Do you talk down to people at work? If so, you need to ask the Holy Spirit to help you make some changes in your communications. God does not want His people to be harsh towards others.
In the same vein, God doesn’t expect us to let people constantly criticize us. There is often a misconception about Christians that says that if you’re a believer in Christ, you need to make yourself a “doormat” for others. If the people in your life are constantly insulting, belittling, and criticizing you, you need to change the people who get to speak into your life. That process can often be difficult, but it’s necessary.
Dysfunction has the ability to completely derail your life. However, as children of God, we have been promised the victory over everything that would come against us, including dysfunction. While there is certainly not enough time or space in a single study to focus on every type of dysfunction that we have to deal with, these common causes are a great place to start.
Today, ask God to help you deal with the seeds of dysfunction that you must face. Ask the Holy Spirit for the strength and the courage to make the changes that you need to make within yourself and to the environment around you.
A Closing Prayer:
Heavenly Father, I’m tired of living a life that is shackled to dysfunction. Today, I break the cycles that have held me back for so long. Help me to change the things that need to change within my own life. Give me the courage to identify the ways that I’m embracing dysfunction and the strength to overcome it. In Christ’s name, Amen.